The Hamster Drive and the Hamster Units
Just like Cap’n Portcrash, her ship is a mystery in itself. ⠀
No-one has any idea where its home harbor is, or who designed or built it. The only thing that is clear is that it looks like a standard sailing ship for common-or-garden pirates, but it’s crammed to the gunwales with technological wonders and highly advanced thingamabobs.⠀
Of course, each pirate has their own cabin with a cozy bunk or a comfy hammock, a porthole with a view of the wide blue sea (also in cabins without portholes) and a connection to the cunning tin can phone system that the crew use to keep in touch with each other.
Apart from normal sailing, for example, Cap’n Portcrash has installed a further means of propulsion: the Hamster Drive! ⠀
The Hamster Drive is a highly effective propellant which can move the ship not just over water, but also into distant galaxies. ⠀
The Hamster Drive is a highly effective device that can not only propel the ship through water, but also to distant galaxies.
The legendary, crackpot and completely sustainable propulsion system of Cap’n Portcrash’s pirate ship powers the crew at insane speeds through space-time vortexes, over macrowaves, to far-flung planets and past irritating Sunday sailors. ⠀
It has four different settings: fluff, hyperfluff, plush and turboplush; each can be set at a different percentage. ⠀
But if any of you think that you can set the drive at 0.3% fluff mode, then sit back and munch a fishburger, you’re very much mistaken. Even at minimum speeds, the Drive knocks your seasocks off. ⠀
Traveling at full power is something that seasoned spaceship pirates can handle, and even they break into a cold sweat. ⠀
Hamster Units are the slightly bizarre and highly unusual fuel used for the Hamster Drive.⠀
A Unit of Hamster is incredibly powerful, 100% sustainable, causes 0% pollution and is produced whenever a cool kid has an amazing amount of fun learning something. ⠀
The Hamster Drive is able to identify Hamster units that are floating around in the universe and feed them into the main propulsion unit. ⠀
Exactly how that functions is unknown. You could ask Cap’n Portcrash, but she would probably deliver an hour-long lecture full of horribly technical details that you’d only half understand before you simply fell asleep from pure confusion.